You've been talking on the phone and emailing back and forth for a while now, and you're ready to take the next step and meet this person face-to-face. This is where some anxiety can creep in and the questions start. What do I wear? Was the picture recent or was it from ten years ago? What if I have a horrible hair day? And on and on...
This is perfectly normal—everyone gets nervous before a first date. In some ways, it feels like a job interview, doesn't it? Okay, so let's take a step back, a deep breath and concentrate on a couple of things:
#1 - You are fantastic! This person has been talking to you and emailing you because you have sparked some interest. No one spends more time than they want to with someone else. Take the previous communication as a good sign;
#2 - You are fantastic! Maybe this date won't go as well as you hope. That's okay. You simply move forward.
Now that we have got that taken care of, here are a few things that you can do to make this first date as enjoyable as possible.
- Keep your expectations realistic. Don't walk into this date with a fantasy of the two of you riding off into the sunset together. Project an image of the two of you having good conversation and a good time - that way you won't be disappointed.
- Be yourself. Don't pretend to be interested in something just because that's your date's occupation or hobby. Maybe you don't know much about Friedrich Nietzsche—so what? You've got interests and hobbies that make you who you are (and keep in mind those things we talked about earlier), and that's what is important.
- Plan a short first date. You don't have to spend four hours struggling through a conversation. It's okay to keep a date to just lunch or a short dinner hour. Remember, if you really hit it off, you can always extend the date!
- Balance talking and listening. Few people really like to talk about themselves, so make sure that you help keep the conversation flowing. It's tough to be the one doing all the talking, so respect your date and be an active participant in the conversation and the date itself.
- Leave yourself a reasonable out. If the date gets really bad (or really scary), make sure that you have an 'out'. Have tentative plans set up with some friends in case your date doesn't work out. Tell your date up front about these plans—that way you're not being rude if you find you need to leave.
And most importantly be safe. Let your friends know where you'll be, who you are with and a time when you expect to be home or at work again. This is important. Your date may be wonderful, but it always pays to make sure others know what's going on.
Enjoy your dates and enjoy your time on Adventist Singles Connection. We're glad you're a special part of our community.
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