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Last Login: Dec 08, 2013
OK, I did not say this before, because I assumed that we are all here for the same reason. I assume that a woman I meet here wants a relationship where God is at the center. That is what I want. A woman who will go to church with me, pray at home with me, and put God at the center of our relationship. In this way, we make the relationship fireproof. It has a stronger foundation. This does not mean I am perfect or that I expect a woman to be perfect. I am not perfect and do not expect perfection. If we all wait until we find somebody who is perfect, we should not be surprised when the only perfect person we meet is Jesus at the pearly gates.
Please read the book, "The 5 love languages," or find "the 5 love languages defined" through a Google search. Then determine your primary love language. After I know yours, I will tell you mine.
I believe this is the #1 key to a great relationship. Everything else can be overcome if you speak the same love languages. I thank my church and pastor for introducing me to this, and wish I had known about this many years ago.
I am in great physical condition. No diseases of any sort. I've even beat the odds on genetic diseases. Why, I have no idea though, I have been very active most of my life, worked the night shift the majority of a 20 year career in the Navy which reduced exposure to the sun and even today I do 1200 crunches each morning. You need not worry about being my caretaker as I get older. Isn't likely to happen. And, I don't intend to ever fully retire. I also don't need a maid or cook. I was taught by my mother to do all of those things before my age was even two digits.
Every Myers-Briggs test I have taken shows me to be an ENTJ (Field Marshall), if that means anything to you. The 4 personality types that end with TJ are the "natural leaders." I tend to be very diplomatic in my leadership style. I don't force others to please me. Being a tyrant is in no way, being the leader that God expects of a husband. While I was in the Navy, I was in charge of many men. Several times, when I was transferring, many chased me down as I was leaving, and would tell me that I was the best supervisor they ever had. They would say I wasn't a bully, and was always very fair with them. The fact that they did this as I was transferring meant a lot to me because it showed that it was heartfelt, and that they weren't trying to gain anything by telling me this.
I should also note, since some may be worried about this, I do not see a husband's place as being "the boss" in his house. Leader yes, but that does not mean being "the boss." It's more subtle than that. God gave some serious instructions to husbands, mainly that he love his wife as Jesus loved the Church (People) and Jesus asked for very little from the church, and allowed the church free will, and in the end, gave his life for the church. If a man is being the kind of leader God demands that he be, there is no ordering involved. His wife will follow him because she wants to. In short, the husband will be more worried about her needs, wants and desires. A man is also supposed to be the spiritual leader of his home. To me this means setting a good Christian example for his family to follow. I don't believe being a leader is about being a boss or tyrant, and he should place a high value on his wife's advice and opinions.
I also believe that God gave women strengths that men do not have, and he gave them to her for her to help her man. This is why I say it is still a partnership. We weren't meant to be equals, we were meant to compliment each other. Where man is strong woman is weak and where woman is strong man is weak. If you use those strengths you were given to abuse your partner, I believe you break God's heart.
I'll be honest, I tend to be very attracted to have healthy views on men, physical affection, love and marriage. But with many women, this feels more like a job interview. It feels like many women put everything ahead of true love, and then wonder why they can't find true love. You aren't going to find your knight in shining armor if you're looking in his wallet or at certificates on his wall, you'll find him by first looking in his heart. True love doesn't come with a resume, it overshadows one. True love should be much more like AGAPE love, which is the way God loves. Unconditional. I've had my fill of conditional love.
As for my free time, I really like camping and hiking, but don't do it as much as I would like, especially lately. I've been to several of the largest and oldest National Parks and would love to revisit them, and visit some of the parks I have not been to. I also enjoy riding my bike, be it on the street or on trails. I enjoy working out at the gym as often as I can. And I enjoy wood working.
By the way, this essay is not intended to be a people pleaser. I am not going for popularity. I am not looking for many women. Just one. So it is intended to appeal to few, not many.
|Location||Jacksonville, FL, USA|
|Height||6' 0" (182 cm)|
|About Children||I am open to all possibilities|
|Religious Involvement||every week|
|Field of Work||construction/student|
|Ethnicity||Caucasian / White|
|Self-description||Adventerous, Affectionate, Loving, Supportive, Dependable, Faithful|
|Outdoor activity||Automobiles/Motorcycles, Basketball, Biking, Birdwatching, Camping/Hiking/Fishing, Gardening, Golf, Horseback riding, Running, SCUBA Diving, Sports/Athletics, Swimming, Tennis, Traveling/Sightseeing|
|Indoor activity||Charity/Volunteering, Computers, Cooking/Culinary arts, Movies/TV, Music, Reading, Restaurants, Sports, Weightlifting|
|Favorite restaurants||I really don't have a favorite.|
|Timeliness||I am usually on time|
|Age||Between 38 and 49 years old|
|Height||Between 5' 0" (152 cm) and 6' 0" (182 cm)|
|Body Type||Slender, Washboard, Athletic, Average|
|Education||High School, Technical School, Associate degree, Professional degree, Some College, Bachelor's degree, Graduate Student, Master's degree, Doctoral degree|
|Religious Activity||on special occasions, several times a year, once or twice a month, every week|
|Drinking||Never, Rarely, On occasion|
|Ethnicity||Asian, Caucasian / White, Hispanic / Latino, Middle Eastern, Native American, Pacific Islands, Other|
A first date, would not really be a first date. If all we have done is talk over the internet, the first date is really just a casual get together to see if there is a deeper interest. For both a meet and greet, or a first date, I will have tried to learn enough about the woman to find out what she likes and what she is comfortable with, then make a decision from there. But for a first meeting, I think we would want to be able to focus on each other, and be able to talk without a lot of distractions.
For a date, something fun, something that creates good memories would be great. Anything from an Amusement park, to a Chaperoned camping and hiking trip, to a treasure hunt would be great.
I now know exactly what I want, and I am not going to waste time with a person I know is not right for me. I won't overlook things that I know will make us incompatible. I have overlooked these things in the past, hoping that the person would change in the end. It doesn't work. People are who they are, so it is better to just find the right person to start with.
What I have also learned is that it doesn't really matter what education level the person has. I think women are more concerned with this than men are. What matters is if you enjoy talking to each other, being with each other. I've know women who were very educated but couldn't hold an intelligent conversation to save their life, and I've also know women with no more than a high school education who were very good at holding up their end of an intelligent conversation.
I don't mesh well with women who can't stand having their ideas challenged. I love to debate, and I can learn through debate. I have no problem with my notions being challenged, I demand the same in a woman. I view the lack of the ability to debate with humility as an irreconcilable difference. I am not a great respecter of titles. Neither was Jesus, so I think I am in good company. I judge people as an individual. I'm usually very non-judgmental though. I usually give people the benefit of the doubt in the beginning.
Finally, I have learned that if your love languages are not in sync, it will feel like a cold relationship after the honeymoon is over. If they are not in sync, both would have to be aware of it and willing to learn to speak to their partner, consistently in the love language they crave. Few people are willing.
Being an Adventist means everything to me. Without God, there is nothing. When I have rebelled I have not been happy, so I want God at the center of my life and relationship with a good woman.
Finish my degree. I may not be smarter than you, but I can hold my own. ;) I did get my AA degree with Honors. :P
I also want to find one special woman to share God, Love and Life with.
Also, I have free travel benefits as a result of serving in the Navy for 20 years. I have seen over 40 countries, but I want to see more. Plus, having now had 3 Humanities classes, I have a better idea of what I want to see in places such as Europe and Egypt.
(Revelation 22:13) "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end."
(Ephesians 5:25) "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it."
(John 3:16) "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.
(Matthew 22:37-40) "Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."
(Deuteronomy 5:11) "Observe the sabbath day, to keep it holy, as the LORD thy God commanded thee."
OK, something I would like to say is that I can come across as intense, but I am really more of a gentle teddy bear. I love to laugh, and be silly when I trust you. I prefer no drama, and yet I can always be a supportive shoulder to cry on, or the person that you confide in when you need to talk. I also try to follow the Biblical principle of not judging others.